


Home Again revised

by BettyHT



Series: You Can't Go Home Again [3]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 14:50:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16177322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: Third in the You Can't Go Home series, this one is more upbeat as it is a romance.  Adam finally has a positive experience in the series getting reacquainted with an old friend who becomes much more than that to him.





	Home Again revised

Home Again

Chapter 1

For several weeks back on the Ponderosa, Adam only familiarized himself with the changes from the past three years, got acquainted with the hands he didn't know, and allowed his hand to heal. Doctor Martin had been a guest at Sunday dinner following Adam's arrival back home and pronounced that although there were breaks, there was no displacement so the hand would heal normally. As he had pushed up Adam's sleeve, he had paused at the scarring on the wrist. He knew what caused it, but the amount of scarring indicated how frequently Adam had been subjected to the shackles. He knew there were likely other scars and suggested that perhaps Hop Sing would have an ointment to soften the scars. Adam's family had not seen the full extent of the scars on his wrists nor the other scarring because Adam kept them covered but based on the reports they had read, they knew what some of those scars were. Hoss couldn't help but want to aid his brother.

"If you want, I can put some of that ointment on yer back too. We can do it any night before you go to bed. No one else has to see."

Seeing the earnest expression, Adam looked at Hoss thoughtfully and nodded. The scars on his back did pull so softening them would help. Of course he knew at some point that Ben and Joe would see those scares and the others if they had not already, but somehow they still embarrassed him. He worried that he had not done enough to stop what happened to him in prison. It was a nebulous concept because he had no idea what it might have been. He had trouble putting it into words, but the lack of control he had over his life there still haunted him. He too had trouble looking in the mirror while shaving and seeing the thin ring of scar tissue on his neck because it reminded him of the attempt to lynch him by people in Virginia City.

During those first few weeks, Adam never left the Ponderosa. There were no trips for supplies, no Saturday nights in town, and no Sunday morning trips to church with his family. If visitors came to pay their respects, he avoided them or gave them a cool reception before excusing himself. He did not yet feel comfortable around people back here where he had grown up and then lived for most of his adult life. He had forgiven his family, and they had talked of some of his experiences. The talk with his father had gone a long way to healing the rift between them even if trust was going to be difficult to rebuild. However even with his family, he was reticent about sharing the most upsetting of the things that had happened to him. Those memories were the stuff of nightmares that had become too frequent. Away from Marlee's arms and without the comfortable setting of the Castle Ranch and with no heavy work to exhaust him so he could sleep, the nightmares were becoming almost a nightly occurrence. He had warned his family of his potentially violent reaction to being touched while sleeping so they found it difficult to wake him and were frustrated in that they could not comfort him at those times. Doctor Martin suggested a sleeping powder and Hop Sing offered an herbal tea but Adam refused. He would not use a 'crutch' as he called them for he knew that if he could relax and be comfortable here, the nightmares would end. Either that or he would work himself into exhaustion as he had on that cattle drive a year earlier and that was effective too. He did find that on the nights Hoss was there to rub ointment on his back and talk with him, he slept better.

Definitely Hoss was the key factor in getting Adam reintegrated into the Ponderosa. Being with Hoss and with Hoss' children sometimes were the times that Adam felt most normal. The children liked him to tell them stories or to sing songs and begged for both at every opportunity. Their innocent enthusiasm and easy acceptance of him, made him relax in their company. Adam suspected that he found it more difficult to talk with Joe and their father because he did not want to disappoint them, but Hoss knew all his faults and loved him anyway, which made things easier. The children didn't see his faults and didn't care about his past. They only cared about the present.

Once Adam's hand healed, he and Hoss set out to mend fence lines, a task Adam generally had disdained in the past but now used to fill his days and tire himself out. The hard physical labor reduced stress and tension. Being with Hoss allowed Adam to be more comfortable as he discarded the neckerchief and unbuttoned his shirt for comfort in the summer heat.

"The first time I saw them scars of yours, I had a hard time not saying nothing."

"I know. I heard you swallowing and swallowing as you stood behind me. It's okay. I don't like looking at them either. That ointment does seem to be softening them, and they're smoother too so it's less noticeable."

"Leave it up to ole Hop Sing to have just the thing we needed."

Adam nodded. Hoss nodded too. They had always used a lot of nonverbal communication, and the reviving camaraderie between them had them back to that. For most of the morning, they did not talk but enjoyed each other's company and the nice summer day as they worked in tandem. At lunch under a nearby tree, Adam decided to open up more.

"Hoss, I should have said something earlier, but I am so sorry for your losses."

"Ya, it was awful hard, Adam. Losing Marie and the baby near tore my heart out, but I had the children and Laura, Joshua, and Peggy, and we all mourned together. Then Will came to take Laura and her children and I didn't think I could take any more heartbreak only Peg went to stay with Laura's Aunt Lil and go to school in San Francisco. I had to face losing a lot. At least I still had Iris and Mark. I guess ya never know what you can do until you're pushed to do it."

"You are a western philosopher. You could write a treatise on sorrow."

"Well, I figured you'd understand what I meant. You been through it twice now. Now you're back home and using them words I don't understand, but from the look, it must have been a good thing you said."

Adam smiled and nodded.

"Adam, you going back to Wyoming?"

"I made a commitment for this winter to help Robert prepare for school and finish up some projects there."

"What about in spring? Now that you own part of that ranch, are you gonna live there?"

"I haven't made any definite plans. Owning part of the CR doesn't matter. It's only money. Owning part of the ranch doesn't matter to me. What I'm finding hard to do is to plan ahead."

The short choppy sentences were an indication that this was a difficult subject for his brother. Hoss thought he knew why. Adam had made plans with his wife and that had led to tragedy. Then he and Ann had plans only that turned into a nightmare for him instead. It seemed he was watching his back now and wanted a chance to bolt if he felt threatened. Hoss knew that Adam didn't trust the people here yet even if he forgave them because he couldn't forget what had happened. Time would help, but Hoss hoped that he could help too.

About a week later, Roy stopped in for coffee on a Sunday night. He knew it would be the best time to actually talk to Adam. After greetings and coffee with dessert, Roy asked to talk with Adam who asked his family to stay. Such a request from the Sheriff still made his heart race and his stomach react.

"Now I know ya know who some a them people who tried to lynch ya was. I got a list here of some families that up and packed up and moved out this last month. I want ya to look at this list and tell me if any a those people were in that mob that night."

Reluctant to look, Adam finally took the list and read it. He handed it back to Roy and said nothing. Roy and his family had seen the change in his demeanor as he read. With Adam's face expressionless, he waited for Roy or his family to say something.

"Well. I thought you oughta know. You not saying they're innocent pretty much confirms what I thought. Except for the men Bill hired, that's the lot of them. All gone now."

Adam still said nothing. Ben bid Roy good night, and Hoss and Joe walked him out. Adam walked up the stairs, and Ben heard his bedroom door quietly close. About a half hour later, Hoss went up, knocked on Adam's door, and announced himself. Adam told him to come in. Adam was seated at his table with his shirt open and pulled out of his pants.

"I knew it was you. Even without the clumping down the hallway, I knew it would be you."

Hoss picked up the jar of ointment and Adam removed his shirt so Hoss could rub the ointment on his back. "With all those people gone, do ya think ya might like to ride into town with me sometime? Maybe just for supplies. If ya think it would be all right, there's a dance Saturday night. Joe's pushing me to go. Pa said he'd be going too."

Adam was thinking it over. He would have to do it sometime unless he wanted to live as a near hermit. He wondered if he should do it step by step or just plunge in and accept Hoss' offer. Hoss was encouraged when Adam didn't say no immediately. Further discussion was pre-empted by Joe walking in. Joe stood like a statue and stared at Adam's back, which was shiny with ointment, but the scars were in full view.

"I suppose after twenty eight years, there's no point in reminding you to knock."

"Adam, I am so sorry."

Adam knew it wasn't about the rude entrance. He hadn't meant his comments to be negative anyway as he was used to Joe barging in. Joe's 'sorry' wasn't about that either.

"All we need now is Pa and everyone will have seen them."

Hearing his name as he walked to his bedroom, Ben stepped up behind Joe and saw what he had seen. His reaction was as expected, but Adam just shrugged. It was over. He could relax even more now although they would have to deal with what they had seen. Adam would be able to show his scars at home at least to the adults. They would get used to seeing them until it didn't matter any more. He would talk to Hoss about how to show the children because he didn't want to traumatize them by having them see the scars accidentally. After a time, Joe sprawled on the bed, Hoss sat in the rocking chair, and Ben leaned against the doorframe as Adam sat at his table. They sat and talked about the next day's business. For the first time in years, it felt normal to be together.

Chapter 2

It was that feeling that things were returning to normal that allowed Hoss to convince Adam to attend the dance. Hoss said goodnight to the children. The wife of one of the married hands had been hired to care for the children when Marie died, and she watched over them when Hoss worked or whenever he was gone from the ranch. She was like a mother to them, and they would stay with her on a night like this when Hoss would get home late. As the men dressed and then rode to town, Adam wasn't as nervous as he was apprehensive. He had gotten so used to things going wrong when he least expected it, that he worried that some disaster would mar this night. Joe especially helped distract him with funny stories and hilarious impersonations of people who were likely to be at the dance.

"Joe, I worry a little that you can impersonate the women so well. There isn't something you want to share with us, now is there?"

"Adam, here I am slaving away to entertain you two big lugs, and that's the thanks I get!"

"Aw, Joe, I was wondering too if wearing them pants so tight all the time ain't caused that problem with your voice."

Ben couldn't help himself. "Oh, and those long pretty curls. Guess I didn't really need to have a daughter."

"Well. Let's just see who has the most girls on his arm tonight for dancing!" Joe squeezed his knees into Cochise and they took off at a gallop to the laughter ringing out behind them.

"Joe's shur in a rush to get there to find a girl to kiss tonight."

"Yes, but we shall take our time, save our energy, and perhaps kiss all the girls tonight."

Ben smiled at Adam's play with the old joke. The joshing and joking hid the pain that both of his older sons must be feeling but showed they were making a great effort. Tonight could be a good night for them. Ben hoped there would be nothing to mar the night echoing the thoughts of his eldest son.

As the three of them arrived, Joe was waiting at the livery stable. Once they got their horses inside, the four of them walked to the dance. Joe walked between Adam and Hoss with a hand on a shoulder of each to show his support, but it was Joe who needed support. Just outside the dance, Rachel stood next to a man and had her arm through his. Joe tightened his grip on his brothers' shoulders, and Adam flinched as Joe's fingers dug into his often damaged left shoulder. The gasp from Adam refocused Joe's attention on his brother.

"Joe, I don't mean to be interfering, but have you told her lately how you feel?"

Joe looked at Adam wondering why he said that. Finally he asked him.

"It's clear you still care and very much. Hoss and I lost our ladies and can't do anything about it. Yours is still here if you can find a way to win her back."

"Ya, Joe, seems to me she wasn't always so honest with you. It don't excuse what ya done, but she should be willing to forgive ya."

Joe was getting ready to argue. He was lining up all of his arguments when his father intervened.

"They're right. We would move heaven and earth if we could be reunited with our lady loves. We can't, but you can."

Ben had tried to have this conversation with him but there was never any progress in convincing him. Now the combined efforts of the three of them had caused Joe to become thoughtful. Perhaps this is how he should have been feeling all along. Instead of guilt, contrition might have worked. He would start tonight by asking Rachel to dance. All thoughts of the other women at the dance were gone. He couldn't make things worse by dancing with others, but could make it better by refraining. He needed to find out. Before he could say anything though, Adam and Hoss began teasing their Pa.

"Of course, Pa, it could be rather awkward for you if all our lady loves came back."

"Ya, Pa, you'd probably have to become a Mormon. Salt Lake ain't too far from here. We could visit."

"Well, my sons, they won't be back so that is the end of this subject."

"Certainly, father. But what will they say at those pearly gates some day. Mr. Benjamin Cartwright, three to see you, right this way."

Ben had no answer so he used Adam's trick: change the subject. "Well, let's go inside and see what lovely ladies are waiting to dance with us."

Adam steeled himself for the entrance. He expected stares. There were some but out of curiosity and without malice. He began to relax. He saw Rose Mary Gerrit, the daughter of an old neighbor to the east. They had left years ago when their farm failed in some dry summers. He walked over to greet her.

"Rosie, I haven't seen you in over twenty years. Have you been back long?"

"Adam, I wondered if I would see you tonight. I'm visiting my cousin Cynthia who recently returned here to live. I may stay until the winter season and then head back home."

"Where's home now?"

"North of here in Alturas. My husband and I used to operate a little store there. He died of cholera last year, and I handed the store over to my son and his wife to operate. Now I do sewing and such out of my home, and help them at the store when needed."

"I am so sorry to hear of your loss."

"And I yours. Seems we have all had to deal with some things. But for tonight, how about if we are just old friends and have a good time?"

Adam offered his arm to Rosie and inclined his head to the dance floor. She smiled and accepted. Adam had not danced in years but natural grace could not be lost. He whirled her around the dance floor with ease. After that dance, she danced with Hoss and then Ben. Adam found a succession of ladies willing to be on his arm. Most were married to men who didn't enjoy dancing or were not skilled in that area. The chance to glide around the floor in Adam's arms was an opportunity they were not going to miss. After more than an hour and a half of dancing though, Adam needed some fresh air. He thanked his last dance partner and headed outside walking to a grove of trees nearby where there was a bench. He rested on the seat and massaged his neck. Taking deep breaths, he truly felt at ease. He saw a lady leave, look around, and then head his way. As she neared, he recognized her.

"Cici, I didn't see you inside."

"Cici, I haven't been called that in over a decade I think. And you couldn't see me inside because you had a lady on your arm every minute. Still the ladies man despite everything."

"Well Cynthia Catherine, I would have danced with you if you had let me know you were there. Any friend of Joe's as they say."

"Well and that's another thing. Joe had his eye on only one lady in there. He either danced with her or watched her as she danced with another. What has happened to the girl chaser I remember?"

"He was married to Rachel until an indiscretion. He's going to try to win her back."

"So polite. An indiscretion. Somehow it doesn't surprise me with Joe."

"He did have a problem with choices and consequences, but being a father and a husband has made him re-evaluate. He'll be all right now no matter what happens. What about you? What has your life been like?"

"Challenging, rewarding. I went to school and got my degree. Now I am hoping to start a practice here."

"I always admired your intelligence and diligence in your studies. I'm glad you used that and got a degree. It surprised me sometimes that you and Joe were friends because schooling was the last thing he thought was important. What is your field?"

"Medicine. I should have been in practice when all of you were younger. I could have been an in-house doctor and supported myself nicely. You three did have tendency to get shot, stabbed, beaten, trampled, and otherwise damaged. And Cartwrights always pay their bills."

Adam looked directly at her because that was a surprise: woman doctor. That is not what he would have guessed. He nodded and smiled at her because of her accomplishment.

"Would you like to go inside for that dance now?"

"Yes, and would you like to come on a picnic tomorrow. That was the real reason I came to find you. I thought you were leaving. Rosie and I are joining Barbara Jordan for a picnic by the stream behind the church after services tomorrow. We wanted to know if you would like to join us?"

Adam had been startled by her question, and Cici had seen that so she had quickly explained so there would be no misunderstanding. She had seen him visibly relax once she explained so she understood that his seeming ease at the dance was an effort on his part. A picnic among friends with no pressure would be good for him. Adam accepted her invitation. Cici asked if he would bring his guitar and any book he would like. The three ladies would bring the food and wine. He raised an eyebrow at the wine statement, and she laughed.

"We are all adults here by quite a margin, and all will be well chaperoned by the others. I am looking forward actually to see what the gossips will make of the three of us heading off with you tomorrow. I hope it is a delicious, salacious rumor. Those are the most fun."

Adam couldn't help it. He laughed out loud. Hoss and his father were standing outside cooling down after some vigorous dancing and were amazed. That may have been the most relaxed and genuine laugh they had heard from Adam since he returned. Ben slapped Hoss on the shoulder. Convincing Adam to attend this dance had been a wonderful idea.

Later, on the way home, Adam announced that he was going on a picnic with three ladies after church on Sunday. That caused a flood of ribald commentary from Hoss and Joe. Cici would have enjoyed the comments immensely if she had been there to hear. Adam planned to entertain the ladies with them on Sunday. He had his first social engagement without his family. He would picnic with three old friends behind the church on a Sunday afternoon. He had no hesitation because he expected nothing to go wrong in such an innocent undertaking.

 

Chapter 3

Sunday morning Adam was up early. He did his chores and his brothers'. He wasn't sure why he had so much nervous energy but of course suspected that his picnic plans were the reason. It felt good though to repay his brothers for their kindness since he had been home. Although sometimes it bothered him to have them hovering, when he needed help, he knew one of them would be there. Hoss was frequently dropping one of those big powerful arms around his shoulders to let him know everything was all right. When he got a bit morose, Joe was there with a funny story or some other silliness that always got to him no matter how much it might be irritating at first. He made sure Sport had a good serving of grain and plenty of water before he headed to the house for breakfast.

Once inside, Adam cleaned up in the washroom and then changed into the clothing he had brought down earlier. He had a pair of his old black pants. They fit rather loosely but that would work well for sitting on the grass for a picnic. He wore a new light blue shirt and a tie. After combing his hair, he headed in for breakfast and found he was the first there. Savoring his coffee, he watched as his father and then his brothers trudged down the stairs. It had been a late night and his father especially looked fatigued. Hoss and Joe were going to head out to the barn when Adam interrupted them.

"Chores are done."

"Dadburnit, Adam. Thank ya. So you ain't just a pretty face all dolled up for them ladies. You're a right fine brother too."

"You're welcome, I think."

Joe was going to say it was about time as he had three years of chores to catch up on but stopped himself before tasting shoe leather and the kick in the behind that he would have gotten from Hoss or Ben for that. Instead he mumbled 'Thanks' and sat down to drink as much coffee as he could before it was time to go. He wondered how Adam looked so chipper and had gotten less sleep than any of them when he suddenly realized something.

"You didn't have a nightmare last night, did you? It was quiet all night."

"No, I had no nightmares."

Adam had slept well and awakened refreshed. He didn't get many nights like that so it sure felt good when it happened. He hoped that he had turned the corner on those nightmares, but tonight would tell. He hadn't had two nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep since he had come home and neither had his family. They probably wished for him to get past this as much as he did. He waited after breakfast for his family to get dressed and then all four headed out for church services. Adam had his guitar slung over his back, and had a couple of books in his saddlebag along with some extra food from Hop Sing. He was planning to see if one of the ladies would invite Hoss to join them and wanted to be ready if they would include his younger brother.

As they arrived at church, Rachel was waiting outside with the children. Joe immediately walked over to her, she smiled, and they walked inside as a family. It was a start. Adam's three lady friends walked to the church together, and he intercepted them and relayed his request. Cici smiled and when she saw Hoss, headed directly for him to invite him to join the impromptu picnic. The smile on his face let the other three know how happy it had made him to be included. He said he would be happy to joing them if his father wouldn't mind watching Iris and Mark for the afternoon.

"Do you think that will be a problem?"

"Nah, I don't think so. They love being with him 'cause he spoils them so, and he loves spoiling 'em so it works out real well both ways."

Cici kidded him that the stories would be especially lurid now with the two of them and three ladies, and Adam could see him blushing across the churchyard so he could imagine what Cici had said. He had to say something when she walked back toward him.

"It is a good thing, Cici, that you are a beautiful woman with charm. Otherwise that sense of humor of yours would have all these chaste and proper women here aghast."

"Perhaps they are. I am in the company of the bad boy of the Ponderosa. I have heard stories about you that would curl your toes."

"What would you know about curling a man's toes?"

"You say that with that innocent look you have, but some would say that look is just a lack of conscience."

"I can see sparring with you is going to be a challenge. I like a challenge."

The five of them joined Ben as he walked into church, and Hoss looked at Adam and Cici and started to speculate. She was a beauty, a doctor, so well educated, and had a smart and sassy mouth. He thought she might be the kind of lady Adam complained about and then courted. His conclusion was that this could get real interesting. Meanwhile, he was admiring Barbara, and Rosie noticed. She gave him an elbow in the ribs and smiled up at him. Rosie was speculating too and decided it was a good thing she would be along as a chaperone or a cold bucket of water, whichever way one wanted to think of it.

After church, the five of them collected food, guitar, books, blankets, and wine to head off for their picnic. Any number of other single women still standing near the church looked on with envy. Adam might have been forty years old, but the grace, the dimples, and the sheer masculinity made any one of them imagine being married to him. Hoss did not have those attributes, but those beautiful blue eyes, the shyness, and the kindness of the man had most of the ladies hoping that if they couldn't have Adam, perhaps there would be a chance with Hoss. Apparently, both men had mourned long enough if they were accompanying these three ladies on a picnic. The men in question were not thinking of courting much less marriage. It was just so pleasant to be on a picnic again and to be treated so normally.

The singing in church had made all three of the ladies yearn to hear more of Adam's singing so they pressured him to serenade them while they laid out the blankets and the lunch. Adam played and sang a song he had learned from a friend who was his own worst enemy, but the man sure could create beautiful music. Hoss remembered him too when he heard the song.

Well every road I see leads away from me,

There's not a single one that leads me home.

The roads keep saying,

Friend, come see what's round the bend,

So is it any wonder that I roam?

All the places I have been keep a calling me back again.

Down in the pines I hear the cold wind blow.

My heart keeps telling me,

Footloose and fancy free,

But the road goes by and calls to me as it goes.

Maybe somewhere there's a someone waiting there with a smile

And maybe there'll be someplace I can stop and rest a while.

Cause maybe you weren't meant to be just a rolling stone,

And there's a road to travel on that leads you back to home.

But Ill keep traveling on, keep looking at the dawn

Till I can lay this lonesome body down.

And when that day has come, I never more will roam,

And every road I see will lead me home.

And when that day has come, I never more will roam,

And every road I see will lead me home.

It was a song with a beautiful melody, and words that were sad and hopeful at the same time. Adam told them the story of his friend who loved music more than his life or the life of anyone else.

After lunch, the ladies wanted to wade in the little stream. It was quite shallow here with tiny rounded pebbles on the bottom. Laughing the three ladies unhooked the buttons on their high topped shoes, slipped off their stockings, and ran to the stream to walk in the water with their skirts hiked up. Adam looked at Hoss, shrugged, pulled of his boots and stockings and walked to join the ladies so Hoss did as well. They laughed and splashed a bit but it was hot in the sun so they headed back to the shade of the tree. Hoss was very warm and picked up the glass of lemonade he thought was his and drained it. The others grabbed their glasses too, but after drinking, Rosie got a funny look on her face.

"Rosie, is there something wrong with your lemonade? You don't look too good."

Cici immediately went to Rosie, but she laughed and said she was fine.

"I just got too hot in the sun, and I'm feeling just a little light headed and the lemonade made my stomach lurch a little, but I'm fine now."

It was Hoss who wasn't fine. He grimaced and suddenly staggered and then bent at the waist. He would have fallen except Adam was there to guide him to the ground. He looked at Adam with a pained look. He put his hand to his head like he had a serious headache and closed his eyes. Adam looked to Cici for help, and she was immediately at Hoss' side checking his vital signs.

"Get a wagon quickly. We need to get him to my office."

Cici grabbed her bag that was sitting off to the side and removed a small vial. She opened Hoss' lips and tipped the contents of the vial into his mouth. She massaged his throat to try to get him to swallow. When she thought he had swallowed at least some of the liquid, with the help of the other ladies, she rolled him on his side. Before Adam returned, Hoss retched out lunch and beverages. Cici just prayed it was enough. At least he had not lost consciousness nor had a seizure. Once in her office, she got out some activated charcoal, crushed it, and made an infusion. With Adam's help, she got Hoss to drink all of it. Then, she had Hoss lie back on the bed and close his eyes. Quickly, she placed a cotton cone over his nose and anesthetized him. Adam looked at her.

"Now, we pray.

 

Chapter 4

Because Adam wanted to stay with Hoss, he paid a messenger to go to the Ponderosa with a message for Ben. He wasn't sure how to get in touch with Joe but thought perhaps his father would know when he arrived in town. Ben was understandably upset and wanted answers as soon as he got to Cici's office.

"What happened?"

"Pa, I don't know. Everything was fine, and then Hoss collapsed. Cici seemed to have some idea what it was, but she's been busy taking care of him. Maybe now that Paul is here too, she'll be able to talk to us. I thought she was going to talk to me earlier, but then Hoss started rolling around and moaning so she asked me to leave so she could care for him. She told me to stay close and she would call if she needed my help. She hasn't called, and about a half hour ago, Paul got here and went in too. Rosie and Barbara went looking for him as soon as we got Hoss here to the office."

Rosie and Barbara were sitting in chairs to the side of Adam, and Ben thanked them for their help. Almost as if summoned, Cici opened the door to the front of her office and closed it behind her. She looked around at Adam, Ben, Barbara, and Rosie. She asked if anyone had found Joe yet. Rosie said that people had been alerted to tell him when they saw him but that he had taken his family for a ride and wasn't back yet apparently. Cici knew what she was going to say was going to be difficult for them to hear.

"I think the first thing you need to do is to get Sheriff Coffee here. Hoss has been poisoned. I don't think we should talk more about that until someone can get the sheriff."

Everyone was shocked except Adam. He had helped get Hoss to drink the infusion of charcoal and didn't know any use doctors had for that other than to absorb a toxin that had been ingested. He hadn't said anything to his father because he expected an explosion when he found out. What he was most concerned about was his brother's prognosis.

"What in tarnation do you mean that he's been poisoned?"

"Pa, settle down. Like she said, she needs to tell the sheriff first and you can hear her then. There are more important concerns right now." Turning back to Cici and ignoring his furious father, Adam had only one question. "Can you tell us if he will be all right?"

"The signs are good for a recovery. He is breathing reasonably well, and although there has been some difficulty, it would be much worse now if it was going to be. The other problem with this poison is that it can cause seizures and convulsions that can be deadly. I anesthetized him as soon as I could to prevent that. Soon we will bring him out of that and hope that he has passed that stage. If he should start convulsing or seizing, we would have to try to anesthetize him again. I don't want to do that because it is dangerous too but less so than the seizures or convulsions."

Almost in an accusatory voice, Ben took over the questioning about Hoss' health.

"And just how did you know it was a poison?"

"Strychnine is used sometimes in very small doses to treat other conditions. I don't agree with its use, but I have seen the effects of an overdose more than once. There were classic signs, and he had been looking good until he drank the lemonade."

At that point, Cici realized she had said too much, but it was too late. Both Barbara and Rosie reacted to her statement.

"But we all had lemonade, and none of the rest of us got sick."

"But Rosie, when we got back to the blanket, you and I weren't sure which glass was ours, and Hoss had set his glass right next to ours. What if he got one of ours instead of his? Hey, I remember you saying you were feeling a bit queasy too. Are you feeling all right now?"

Roy walked in at that point and wasn't happy at all that they had a poisoning case and the principal witnesses had been discussing it, but it was too late to do anything about it. After they filled him in on what had been discussed so far, he asked about the glasses and if they had been left unattended.

"Yes, I led our little group down to the creek to walk in the water. It was pleasant, but hot in the sun so we went back to the shade. We had poured lemonade just before leaving, so each of us took our glass when we got back."

"Did anyone else get sick?"

"I was feeling a little nauseous for a bit, but it passed."

"Rosie, was that before or after you had the lemonade?"

"After, but I think it was the heat that made my stomach touchy. I feel fine now."

Adam and Cici explained that their glasses were next to the tree and the guitar. They were out of sight of the picnic area for quite a while, and no, they had not seen anyone lurking or even walking in the area. Roy told them all to be careful because at this point it was impossible to be sure whom the target of the poisoning was. Just then Dr. Martin opened the door to say that Hoss was awake. Cici asked for some time to do another examination of him before the family went in to see him. They reluctantly agreed.

Rosie was torn. Her husband had died with similar symptoms a year earlier. Her son had said the doctor told him it was cholera. But only two other people in town had been ill and died. Her husband had not shown any symptoms before he suddenly became ill, lapsed into unconsciousness, and had multiple seizures until his heart stopped. She wondered now if someone had poisoned her husband and if that someone was targeting her now. She thought perhaps she needed to ask Cici some questions soon.

The Cartwrights were too absorbed in their concern for Hoss to notice how troubled Rosie looked, but Barbara noticed and moved to sit next to her. Barbara took Rosie's hand, and as Rosie looked at her, she wrapped her arms around her and comforted her. Barbara thought that Rosie felt as she did that perhaps the poison had been meant for her, and it was her fault that Hoss was in danger. Although Barbara could not imagine that anyone wanted to kill her, she was logical enough to know that her glass had stood next to the other two suspect glasses. There was the possibility too that someone wanted to hurt her to hurt her father. At this point, she couldn't imagine who would do such a thing, but she knew her father had gotten death threats over the years. Of course the Cartwrights had their share of enemies and jealous neighbors too, but most often those threats were against Ben, Adam, or Joe not Hoss.

The door opened and Cici invited the Cartwrights to come in to see Hoss. He was awake but groggy from the anesthesia. Cici explained that the poison was probably meant for a smaller person unless the perpetrator had intended only to make one of them very ill. The amount used would have probably killed any of the three ladies but Hoss was more than twice as large so the poison had not had the fatal effect. He did not seem to have any neurological damage, but Cici wanted to keep him there for observation for a few days. Ben of course planned to stay. Adam and Joe said they would return to the ranch to take care of things there and would bring any items to town that Ben and Hoss needed. Ben reminded them to be careful what they said to the children and how they said it. Joe said he would take care of it as he had more experience. Paul and Cici suggested that Hoss needed to get some rest and let the anesthesia work out of his system. Ben pulled a chair next to the bed. Adam looked at Joe and each smiled and nodded.

"Cici, I want to thank you for saving Hoss' life. Your quick thinking and actions were the stuff of brilliance."

"Thank you, Adam, but it was the stuff of good training. I was lucky to study with a number of doctors who were willing to share their knowledge with a woman. There are not many men willing to accept that a woman can be as intelligent."

"There may be more of those men around you than you think." His words let her know that he was one of those men. "The picnic was a wonderful idea. Lately, it seems that trouble follows me around. I'm sorry that you and the others got in the way of it today."

"After everything that's happened to you, I can see why you might feel that way, but your fatalism is misplaced here. The evidence indicates that it was Rosie, Barbara, or me who was targeted. Whoever did this knew we were having the picnic and waited for a chance to do the deed that had to be planned. Hoss was only invited this morning and you late last night. The three of us had been talking about this for most of the week. I'm afraid the wrong person overheard us at some point."

"Not you. By the same kind of logic, the person who was watching would have seen you set your glass by the tree near mine as I set it by the guitar."

"So it was Barbara or Rosie who was the target."

"It certainly looks that way. I did enjoy the picnic until disaster struck. We could try it again sometime perhaps on the Ponderosa."

"Yes, that would be lovely. I'll talk with Barbara and Rosie, and we'll let you know, but I am sure they would like the four of us to try to get together again."

Adam nodded, and left while wondering why that last statement was a little disappointing to him. Marlee hadn't been gone that long, and he should still be mourning her and not looking for another woman in his life. He also thought sadly of what had happened to the last two women in his life although Marlee's fate was determined well before she met him. Still he was ill at ease with his feelings.

 

Chapter 5

After a few days convalescing with Cici's care, Hoss was ready to go home to the Ponderosa. Ben had stayed in town with him even after it was apparent there would be no long-term consequences of his poisoning. Roy came by several times to see if Hoss or Cici could remember anything else, and they could not. Adam, Barbara, and Rosie gave him the same answer. They had been having so much fun and never thought to be doing surveillance of a possible threat. After all, it was on a Sunday, on a picnic, near the church. None of them had expected anything like what happened. Adam and Cici shared their theory with Roy and found that he had drawn the same conclusion: someone had meant the poison for Barbara or Rosie. The difficult question was who wanted to do either of the very decent, caring women harm.

On Wednesday as Hoss was getting helped into the carriage by Adam and Joe, Ben invited Cici to spend the afternoon at the Ponderosa and have dinner with them on the following Sunday. She was happy to accept. It would give her a chance to check on Hoss and get reacquainted with the whole Cartwright clan again. Cici had seen the love the four of them showed each other as they cared for Hoss and then helped each other over the past four days. As the carriage pulled away, Cici had a chance to talk with Adam before he followed.

"Adam, if the picnic offer is still good, Barbara, Rosie, and I could join you Saturday afternoon or another time if that is not convenient."

"That will work fine and I am looking forward to it. I'll meet you here about one if that is convenient for you ladies?"

"Adam, if it's all the same to you, I would rather I didn't get invited to join you." With that comment, Joe giggled, turned his horse, and headed out of town to catch up with the carriage.

"Just the four of us then. I'm looking forward to it, Cici. Till then." Adam tipped his hat and followed his brother.

As Cici turned to go back in her office, Barbara called her name, and she turned to greet her friend.

"I think we need to talk. Rosie has told me some upsetting news."

Barbara proceeded to tell Cici all that Rosie had said about her suspicions of her son. Cici thought they ought to share the idea with the sheriff so he could make some inquiries for them. Barbara agreed. Both of them knew that Sheriff Coffee could be very discreet when he needed to be. They trusted that this theory would not be shared, as it would be very damaging if it wasn't true.

As they went inside, neither saw two men take up residence across the street at the mercantile sitting on the bench outside the store. They stayed there until Barbara left Cici's house and then followed her to her home. Once she entered her home, one of the men left and the other moved behind some trees to keep watch on the house.

After Cici closed her office that afternoon, she headed to the Sheriff's office to share the theory about Rosie's son. Once there, Roy was very gracious and heard her out completely. Then he offered to send a few wires to see if he could get any more information. With that assurance, Cici headed home. A single man was shadowing her and followed until she got home. Once it was clear she was in for the night with her cousin, he left.

Since Monday, Roy had assigned deputies to watch all three women. They reported back to him on the two men shadowing Barbara and one following Cici. Rosie had not left Cici's home that day, so there was nothing to report there. Roy was sure now that one of the women had been the target of the poison. He had thought it was likely Barbara or Rosie, but now Cici was being watched too. On the two previous days, only Rosie and Barbara had anyone following them. None of the men had done anything that was even remotely illegal yet so Roy was going to continue the surveillance. Roy went to the telegraph office to send out some inquiries but was afraid that something would happen before he got enough information to stop it whatever it was. By Saturday, the pattern had continued without any seeming change so Roy was stymied and still waiting for replies to his messages.

By one that afternoon, Roy and his deputies saw Adam ride in and go to Cici's house where there was a carriage standing out front. After a brief visit inside, Adam came out and transferred his guitar and saddlebags to the boot of the carriage before walking Sport to the livery stable. As he returned, Cici, Barbara, and Rosie were loading baskets into the boot as well.

"It looks like you have enough to feed Hoss there, but he won't be joining us today."

"Not at all, Adam, Barbara and Rosie thought we ought to bring the wine we never had on Sunday so that is in one basket with some ice. Only one basket is filled with food. But if I recall, you do like roast chicken and peach pie."

Smiling, Adam nodded in agreement and helped each of the ladies into the carriage. Barbara and Rosie climbed in first so they sat in the back. Cici was last so she could sit next to Adam on the ride. He rather liked that arrangement. Barbara and Rosie smiled at each other when Cici and Adam sat together up front. They knew he would be reluctant to start a relationship so soon after his wife's death, but they thought that he and Cici would make a nice couple or at least very good friends so they were just gently nudging each of them in that direction.

Once the four of them arrived at the lake, blankets were spread in the shade, and they once again took off their boots, and then walked in the icy lake waters. Cici said they should all stay barefoot because they would be cooler on this hot August day. After they had their lunch and some wine, Adam got out his guitar so they could sing songs together. Finally, each got their books and Cici read a short section of hers. Adam was leaning back on his elbows near her when she was reading, and she suggested he could rest his head on her leg so he did. After she told him to do that, she couldn't believe how bold she had been, but he looked comfortable. No one seemed scandalized so she thought she could relax except his head resting on her thigh was starting all these feelings churning through her that she was sure the ladies must be able to see her discomfort. They however were looking quite innocent as if all they cared about were listening to her read.

The four picnickers had been followed though. The two men who had been following Barbara took up a position high above the four and settled in to watch. The third man had followed these two and wondered what they were doing. As they settled in to watch, he began to scout for a spot where he could see the four down below but remain out of view of the two up above. Clem watched the drama begin to unfold and thought it looked ominous. He sent word back to town with the other deputy for Sheriff Coffee and told the man if he saw anyone to tell them to go to the Ponderosa for more help. Clem hoped nothing too dramatic happened before reinforcements appeared because he only had one deputy left with him.

 

Chapter 6

Contented, Adam lay with his head on Cici's thigh. At first he was just mesmerized by her voice as she read with emotion and skill. But he was beginning to feel that this was being too forward for he offered nothing more than friendship. As he moved to sit up, a gunshot resounded and hit the dirt at Rosie's side. Adam grabbed her and rolled behind the tree urging Barbara and Cici to get behind the other one. He drew his pistol to defend them but had no idea where the shot originated. As he waited to see a target, there was rifle fire from the west but it didn't seem to be aimed at them. Suddenly there was more pistol and rifle fire and men shouting. He used the opportunity to get the three ladies behind some boulders where there was more protection. There was one more shot and then silence.

"Adam, are you all right?"

It was his father. He wondered why his father was here and why there had been all that shooting. "Is it safe for us to come out?"

"Just a moment, son. Let us come down to you and make sure."

After what seemed like an hour but was about ten minutes, Ben's voice was much closer and reassuring them they could come out from hiding. Barbara walked out from behind the rocks with her arm around Rosie who was visibly shaken. Adam limped out with Cici's assistance.

"Are you shot?"

"Ah, no, mostly a little damaged pride."

Ben looked at him quizzically. Cici laughed. Adam looked sheepish.

"We rushed behind these rocks and Cici lost her balance and fell back into me. When I fell, I twisted my ankle. That's all it is."

Joe sat on Cochise and enjoyed Adam's discomfiture. He hadn't seen him look like that in years. That's when Ben noticed they were all barefoot.

"Well maybe if you would have had your boots on, you wouldn't have been hurt!"

"Pa, it's just an ankle strain. Besides we were all comfortable until someone shot at us. What happened?"

"Roy's on his way down here. He's trying to figure that out with the men up on the ridge right now. I assume he'll tell us when he gets here. Perhaps you would all like to put your boots on before he arrives?"

Over an hour passed before they could see Roy riding down toward them. Ben and Joe were seated with the ladies and Adam and enjoying peach pie and wine. They all had their boots on except Adam did not have his left boot on because his ankle was quite swollen. He was sitting with his ankle resting on one of the baskets. Cici was amazed and amused that even after all the gunfire, these men and women could relax again and have fun so soon.

"In Philadelphia after an episode like this, women would be lying in parlors being fanned by maids or family, and the men would be out demanding that elected officials do more about law and order."

"We uncivilized hooligans of the west, my lady, just do not have enough refinement to be affected so."

Adam had spoken with an exaggerated theatrical voice and all had to laugh. One look at Roy's face as he neared them though made all of them more somber. Roy asked Rosie to describe her son. She clasped her hands to her mouth as tears streamed down her face.

"Now I don't rightly know if that is your son up there so before you get yourself too upset, could you please give me a basic description?"

Barbara stood at one side of Rosie and Cici at the other. She described her son as almost six feet tall, very heavy, pale, with brown hair, brown eyes, and wearing spectacles.

"Rose Mary, I am very sorry to have ta tell ya this. The sheriff in Alturas said that your son has been gone twice in the last week and a half. Each time he said he was going fishing, but he headed south out of town, and we know that ain't the direction to go if ya are going fishing in Alturas. Those trips coincided with the poisoning and this here shooting today. There's a man up there on the ridge who fits your description too, but is refusing to talk with us."

Barbara offered to go with Rosie to see who the man was, but they all knew who it was already. It would only confirm their suspicions. Cici offered to go too, but Rosie said she should stay and help Adam. Then Rosie and Barbara left with Roy. Ben and Joe helped Adam limp to the carriage. The three who weren't limping then loaded the baskets, blankets, and such into the boot of the carriage. Adam assured them he could drive, but Ben said to take the carriage to the Ponderosa instead of town because he wouldn't be able to ride Sport home anyway.

"Cici can wrap your ankle back at the house. Then Joe can drive the carriage back to town and get Sport for you. If that's all right with you, Cici?"

"I knew I should have applied to be an in-house doctor for the Cartwrights. Two damaged in a week. I wouldn't need to see any other patients at this rate."

"Well, Pa, we need to get back soon or that other patient is going to be trying to get on Chubb and come out here to see what's going on."

Ben looked at Adam and Cici to explain that they were all relaxing on the porch enjoying the cool breeze when a man rode in and said a deputy told him they needed help.

"Was that you with all that rifle fire up there then?"

"No, apparently, Barbara's father hired some men to watch over his daughter. He thought someone might be trying to hurt him by hurting her. They were the first to fire on Rosie's son, which probably saved your lives. He had an arsenal with him but never expected that there would be much return fire."

"Then who fired that last shot?"

"That would have been me, older brother. He was going to try one last shot at you before we could get to him. He didn't get that shot."

"Thanks, Joe. Thanks, Pa. We really needed your help today. But why was there a deputy riding to the Ponderosa for help?"

"Roy has had someone watching over the ladies all week. They followed the men who were following you. When it looked like it might be more than following, Clem sent for help."

Cici sighed. "I have had this creepy feeling all week that someone was watching me, but every time I looked, there was no one there. Rosie said the same thing, and we assumed it was our nerves getting to us. But it was Rosie's son and the deputies. I'm relieved now that I know that I am not imagining things."

The crisis was over and no one got shot. Cici came to the ranch and wrapped Adam's ankle before riding back to town with Joe. The two of them talked quite a bit about Joe's situation and what he might do about it. They had been friends a long time. Before they parted, Joe asked if she thought she and Adam might have a future.

"Joe, it's much too soon to think like that. He's still in mourning for his wife. I'm his friend and I like that. For now, that's going t have to be good enough."

"It is. He needs a friend. He lost a lot with everything that happened, and there aren't many he will trust or let into his heart. You seem to be the exception so I hope it works out at least for friendship, and I have to say, I wouldn't mind at all if it was more."

The following day, Cici was back for dinner even though she had already checked over Hoss on Saturday after wrapping Adam's ankle. On Sunday, she got to attend to both men, and the three of them sat on the porch and enjoyed lively conversation. After that, Cici became a regular Sunday guest at the Ponderosa, and there were more picnics including Hoss, and sometimes Hoss' children and Ben too on occasion. Joe was there rarely as he was spending most of his Sundays with Rachel and the children. But the fall roundup ended the pleasant outings, the weather was getting colder, and then Adam left for Wyoming in early November.

 

Chapter 7

When Adam arrived in Wyoming, he was leading a string of horses. He had purchased some mares and two stallions from the herd Joe was developing on the Ponderosa. With a man he hired to help, he brought them to the CR ranch. Reg and Bud liked the looks of the horses he brought in and began to make plans for breeding to improve the herd at the ranch. With the larger stable Adam had built the previous season, they had plenty of room to do that. Adam began working on other projects that he had planned for the ranch before he had left in early summer.

"Adam, what's her name?"

Bent over his drafting table, Adam looked up at Reg in surprise.

"Don't look so surprised. Ever since you got here you have had that same distracted look much of the time. I seem to recall a similar look when you weren't sure how to proceed with Marlee. Don't worry, I can't tell what you're thinking, but I can see that you are. That you haven't shared your thoughts with me, Robert, or Bud has led me to the conclusion that it's a woman."

"I don't know what to say. It is a woman, but I don't know how I feel about her. I didn't want to talk with you about it."

"Because you thought I might think you were betraying Marlee? Nonsense. You made her as happy as I could have hoped. I only wish the two of you would have had more time and that she could have seen Robert go to school. She was worried about you and what you would do after her death. I assured her that you were in control of your life again and she need not worry."

"I may be in control of my life, but I don't know how she feels. Her name is Cynthia Catherine Davis, but I have always called her Cici, which is what her nickname was in her family. Marlee let me know right away how she felt so it was up to me to decide to be with her or not. Cici hasn't been so direct."

"How is it you don't know how she feels. Didn't you spend time together?"

"Yes, we did but as friends and with others always around. We were never together with only the two of us, but even then, there were some signs she was interested, but there was nothing direct. Now that I'm here though I'm just thinking of her. I'm not sure how I feel, but I think I wish we were more than friends."

"Beautiful?"

"Yes, to me, she is, and she's so smart. She's a doctor. She's also twelve years younger than I am. I don't know if any of my feelings would be reciprocated."

"Write to her. You won't be distracted by her beauty or any other of her, ah, attributes, and you can explore your feelings with her without having to be there and be all nervous about it. You'll be able to say things that you might find difficult in a face-to-face conversation because you can think about it and say it just the way you want to. She can do the same."

Adam was thoughtful. He wrote to his father and brothers every two weeks now letting them know what he was doing. They wrote to tell him of their activities and thoughts. He could write to Cici, and if she answered, they could continue and perhaps discover if there was anything more than friendship for them. He smiled at Reg. "That could work."

"I'm a lawyer. I know how to bring two parties together." Reg grinned then. To him, it was like winning a case.

As Christmas approached, Adam had his first letter for Cici ready to mail. He had been exceedingly careful in how he worded his proposal to her. He hoped she would write back. If she didn't though, he would know that there was no future there other than as ordinary friends.

On the Ponderosa, Christmas planning and decorating was in full swing when a packet arrived from Adam. Ben invited Cici to be with them on Christmas because she no longer had any family living in Virginia City or anywhere nearby. Roy Coffee agreed to be her escort and the Martins were invited to be there too. She accepted. On Christmas morning, Ben heard the carriages approaching and went outside to greet his guests. Hoss and Joe took the horses and brought them to the barn before joining everyone inside.

There were drinks, toasts, and wonderful snacks. Joe was anxious to open gifts with everyone there so that came next. There was a lot of oohs and ahs amid a variety of comments about gifts. Then Ben read a letter that Adam had written to all of them for Christmas wishing them the joy of the season and telling them what he had been doing. Just before dinner, Ben asked Cici to join him by his desk. He pulled another letter from the desk drawer and handed it to her.

"Adam sent us letters in a large envelope. There were individual letters for me, Hoss, and Joe. He wrote a cute little letter for the children. In a note inside, he asked me to read the open letter to his family and our guests if we had any on Christmas. Last, he asked that I give this letter to you privately and suggest you read it when no one else is around."

"I would very much like to read it now."

Ben suggested then that she should sit at his desk to read. He brought a lamp over so that she would have more light. Then he left her to read and joined the others who were doing their best to sing, but without Adam's voice, the choir was a bit flat although quite joyous and enthusiastic. Cici opened the envelope slowly. She had hopes for what this letter might say but also knew it could be something she didn't want to read. After reading the letter, she walked over and sat next to Hoss and joined the others in singing. Ben looked at her and she grinned at him. He relaxed: it must have been good news.

Ben walked Cici out to the carriage later. "I take it you liked the letter from Adam?"

"Yes, very much. We are going to be writing regularly."

"I'm very glad about that. Helping Joe and taking care of Hoss were important steps for Adam to take this past summer. He needed to be needed. He also needs a friend with whom he can share the most important things in his life. I'm glad that you are that friend."

"I think he's coming back here."

"I do too. The letters we get talk of the projects he has to finish and the help he promised to Robert. There isn't any talk of more to do there after he finishes his commitments. I hope the two of you can grow closer too. Our letters could be very important to getting Adam to come home."

Cici smiled so much that her face started to hurt. Those smile muscles were getting quite a workout. Her friends and patients noticed too how she even seemed happier walking about town and working in her office after Christmas although none of them knew the reason.

Letters started traveling at a fast pace between the CR ranch and Virginia City's newest doctor. As soon as one got a letter, there was a push to write a response as quickly as possible and send it so that the next letter could be sent in return. They wrote of their pasts and the present. The future was not discussed. By early March, suddenly Cici did not get a response to her last letter. She waited for almost two weeks and there was nothing. She worried that something had happened to Adam or that he had changed his mind about pursuing a relationship with her. As she got ready to close her office for lunch on that Friday, her doorway was darkened by a tall handsome cowboy who had what appeared to be about two weeks of trail dust on him.

"I should have cleaned up before seeing you, but I couldn't wait. I'm sorry for my appearance. I should have been here a week ago, but everything that could go wrong did. I got sick, my horse went lame, the stagecoach lost a wheel damaging the axle, and we waited at a station until another stage could be sent, and the telegraph line went down in a dust storm."

Cici walked over and put two fingers over his lips.

"I'm am just so glad you are here and safe."

Relieved that she wasn't upset with him but seemed so happy to see him, Adam put his hands on Cici's waist and pulled her to him. He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. Cici threw her arms around his neck and his hesitation was gone. She kissed him with enthusiasm, but her lips remain chastely closed. Adam teased her lips open, and as he kissed her more deeply, he felt her flinch a bit but she didn't pull away. They kissed until they needed to stop to catch their breath.

"Well that answers that question. You are glad to see me, and we are definitely more than friends."

Cici reached up to touch his cheek. "I love you."

He kissed her gently. "I love you."

Adam grinned at her. Gads, she thought: apparently he didn't know how devastatingly seductive that smile of his was. Then she wondered if he did. "You do need a bath."

"Oh, I need more than that. I need a bath and then a shave, clean clothes, and lunch would be at the top of my list. Would you like to join me?"

"I hope that invitation was for just the lunch part of your list, and if it was, then I accept." She grinned a cheeky grin, but his look said that perhaps he wouldn't have minded company for the rest of the list. "You're awful."

"I've missed you. I want to spend as much time with you as I can."

"Get that bath, shave, and clean clothes, and then we'll see how much time we can spend together."

"How much time do I have?"

"I was closing up for lunch when you arrived. I can stay open a bit longer and take a later lunch. Things have been slow today anyway. I can take a late lunch. I have no afternoon appointments. How about lunch in an hour? Would that be enough time?"

After doing those things he needed to do and as fast as he could do them, Adam joined her at the restaurant for lunch and asked for the alcove in the back so they could talk. They talked of changes occurring in Virginia City and what she had been doing for the past four months as well as what Adam had done in Wyoming. Adam took her hand after they finished eating and held it in his hand staring at it for a moment before looking up and into her eyes.

"Please marry me."

She sat back in shock. It had been something she had contemplated, but this was so sudden it had hit her hard.

"Why wait? I love you. You have told me you love me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Cici thought about it and couldn't come up with an argument against what he said. Her parents were deceased, and she had no siblings. Rosie had moved back east after her son tried to kill her. Waiting to have the wedding would not make a difference. She looked at Adam and had only one question.

"I want to continue my work. Would you have a problem with me being a full time doctor here in Virginia City?"

"Not at all. I fell in love with a doctor. It would seem silly to expect you to be something else because we are married."

"When would you want to get married?"

"We could marry today."

Cici's eyes got very wide. Her heart started racing, and she wasn't sure lunch was going to stay down. Adam was looking at her with such longing and hope, she had to say something. "Well then I have another question. Don't we need a ring and a minister to complete the ceremony?"

Adam reached into his jacket that was hanging on the back of his chair and produced a small brown box. He handed it to Cici and told her to open it. Inside was a gold ring with an emerald set between two diamonds. There was a matching wedding band that twinned with it that could be worn separately.

"Will that do? I had it made in Salt Lake City. I was hoping you would be my love and my wife. I wanted to be ready. When you're working, you can wear the simple band, but when there's a more dressy occasion, you can add the fancier part."

Cici started to cry, and Adam handed her his handkerchief. By now, even though they were in the alcove in the back, they were getting stares from the other patrons many of whom did not know who he was and wondered why their good doctor was crying. Adam stood and suggested they ought to leave, and Cici stood so he could help her with her coat. Within about fifteen minutes, they were at the minister's house and explaining why they wanted him to perform a wedding ceremony. Another fifteen minutes, and they walked out of his house as husband and wife.

"Oh, Adam, this was so exciting I didn't think. Isn't your father going to be upset that he wasn't at your wedding?"

"He may be. We'll tell him and he can give us the biggest party anyone could imagine or nothing or whatever he wants to do. He'll be happy. Consider how long he has waited for me to be married here. But I do think we should go to the Ponderosa tonight. I would hate for someone to tell him before we do."

The couple went to Cici's house so she could pack some things for the weekend. They discussed for quite a while where they would live but couldn't come to a conclusion. Living on the Ponderosa was too far for her to continue her practice, and Adam living in town was impractical for him. They talked of building but had no definite idea where so they decided to talk more about that later. Cici smiled to herself as she thought how happy Ben and Adam's brothers would be if they could hear this conversation. Adam was clearly staying here in Virginia City.

They made a stop at Cici's office so she could leave a note on the door telling people where she could be found on the weekend. She dressed in her riding skirt and rented a horse at the livery stable. It was late though by the time she and Adam reached the Ponderosa and the only light burning was the lamp by the study window. Adam smiled and explained that the lamp was always lit when one of them was not home. In the stable, they saw that Cochise was not there so it was Joe who was not home. He must have been expected though because the front door was unlocked. Adam hung his jacket and hat up and set his gunbelt on the credenza. No one was up so Adam led Cici up the stairs to his room.

Once inside his room with the door closed, Adam took Cici in his arms. Although she returned his kiss with ardor, he could feel her shaking. Sitting on the bed, he pulled her onto his lap.

"Do you trust me?"

Cici nodded yes.

"I will never hurt you. I will be patient. We have the rest of our lives together so we can begin slowly."

"I've never done anything except to kiss a man, and it was all very chaste and proper. Until today, I never knew that kissing could be so passionate. You might expect that a doctor would know more than that but it wasn't something they talked about in my studies. I do know the basic process, but I don't know what you expect of me."

At that, Cici turned red from embarrassment. Adam smiled, touched her cheek with his fingertips, and slowly slid them down and across the skin showing through the top open buttons of her blouse. He leaned in to kiss her and slid his other hand into her hair. Item by item, clothing was discarded to the far side of the bed. Laying back on the bed with Cici wrapped in his embrace, step by step, Adam introduced her to the passion and pleasure a man and a woman could enjoy. They fell asleep lying side by side with his arm wrapped around her holding them together. In the morning, they were awakened by footsteps in the hallway and a knock on the door before it was pushed open. Adam had quickly rolled on his side to face the door and Cici snuggled down behind him.

"Adam, I didn't know you were coming home so soon. When I saw your door closed, I was hoping it meant that you were in here. Come on down to breakfast. I'm sure your brothers would like to see you too."

Adam nodded yes and Ben left pulling the door closed behind him. He wasn't surprised to see Adam shirtless because he knew his oldest son preferred sleeping that way. He wished he would wear a nightshirt but had given up on that issue. It just didn't seem important. In the bedroom, Adam pulled the covers up over his head and rolled around to talk with Cici. Hidden under the covers, it was unlikely that anyone would hear what they said.

"I am so glad we put your clothing on that side of the bed last night. Now if you would like to get dressed, we can go down to breakfast."

"Oh, I think you should go down to breakfast and tell them, and I'll join you later."

"Nope, I have told you about my father's raging inferno temper and would hate for you to miss an example of it."

"Why is he going to be mad? I thought he would be happy we are married."

"Oh, he will be, but the first thing that will happen when he sees us is that his temper will blow. He has a tendency to jump to conclusions, and he has especially with me, and to be fair, with Joe too. When it happens, reason, logic, and common sense have no room in his head because he's angry. You will have to see it to believe it. The great Ben Cartwright blowing his stack is a sight to behold."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Oh, yes I am, and I am going to enjoy the next part so very much."

"Then why didn't you tell him when he had the door open?"

"To fully enjoy it, I think I have to be dressed and so do you. You wouldn't have wanted me to introduce you as my wife like this?" Adam ran his hand from her cheek down to her hip. "You're so beautiful, but I would rather not share this vision with my father."

Shaking her head, Cici got out of bed and dressed. Amazed at how natural it felt to be nude in front of a man for the very first time in her life, Cici decided that could only mean than however impulsive they had been the day before, it was the right decision. Actually he had gotten her to act impulsively. He apparently had planned ahead. Adam got a pitcher of water, and they shared the water and the washbasin. She was a little sore but felt very satisfied too. From what she had gleaned from conversations with other women who were usually older than her, she had thought that it was her duty to take care of her husband's needs in marriage. She had never expected to enjoy it so much. She finished dressing as Adam shaved. Then he pulled on a shirt, put on his boots, and opened the door.

"Ready for this? He really doesn't bite. It just looks like he wants to take your head off. Well, in this case, my head."

Cici nodded, and Adam kissed her gently. Arm in arm, they walked down the hall and the stairs. Before they reached the landing midway down, Ben reacted.

"Cici, what are you doing here? Adam, what is the meaning of this?"

Joe and Hoss sat at the table frozen like statues staring at Adam and Cici. Adam tugged Cici to continue as she had frozen almost in midstep at Ben's bellow. When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they walked to the dining table.

"I thought we would have some breakfast. Hoss hasn't eaten it all yet has he?"

Ben stood. If possible, his face got redder and his voice louder. Cici cringed back against Adam. He looked down at her and shrugged.

"You may be a forty-year-old man, but in this house, there are standards that are not going to be forgotten."

"To which standard are you referring? The one where a man and his wife sit down to breakfast with the family?"

"You cannot expect me to just ignore this. This is immoral, and I will not tolerate this in my house!"

Ben was going to say something more, but paused as he thought about what Adam had said. Adam lifted Cici's left hand to show the ring set on her finger. Hoss grinned, and Joe whooped and jumped up from the table to hug and kiss Cici.

"What the heck!" Joe kissed Adam on the cheek too.

"Papa, why did Uncle Joe kiss Uncle Adam? Why is Miss Cici here? Why is Grandpa mad at Uncle Adam? Papa, what's going on?" Hoss came around the table to give Adam a big bear hug and then gave Cici one too after Joe released her. Ben was struggling to say something. Hoss turned to Iris and Mark then to explain that Adam was married now and Cici was now Aunt Cici. He said he would explain the other things after breakfast but that they should say they were happy for Uncle Adam and Aunt Cici. They did and then asked to be excused to go play.

All of it gave Ben a chance to collect his thoughts. Adam looked at him. "Pa, what is it you would like to say?"

Ben sat down. Cici walked to him and kissed him on the cheek. "The letters worked, Papa."

 

Chapter 8

After breakfast, Adam and Cici went for a ride explaining to the family that they were going to scout out some possible building sites. The rest of breakfast had been very entertaining. Hop Sing had come out to see what all the commotion was and was very happy for number one son but then complained of all the extra work he would have to do. Everyone smiled. The next bit occurred as Adam and Cici were asked where they were going to live and discussed that. For now, they decided that from Friday through Monday morning, they would stay on the Ponderosa. Monday night through Thursday night, Adam would go to town to stay at Cici's house. They would continue this way until they had a better option or got a house built that was more convenient. Every decision they made for a time was likely to be just as entertaining to the family if they conducted it in front of them because they had married without having much of a discussion of the future. They had trusted each other that they would be able to work out any issues. It could get to be difficult, and they both knew it. For now though, they were so much in love, that nothing seemed to be a serious problem. For the other three members of the family, it was interesting and amusing to see Adam and Cici start to find things out about the other that they didn't know and then banter back and forth about issues.

Ben, Hoss, and Joe immediately began discussing party plans as soon as Adam and Cici walked out of the house that morning. Ben had asked who knew of their wedding and found it was the family and the minister. The plan was that the minister would announce it at church on Sunday morning. With that concern out of the way, they could begin inviting people at that same service. Joe had some grandiose plans but was reminded that they were hoping to have the party in one week, so time could be an issue. Adam was going to send a telegram to let Reg, Robert, and Bud know of the wedding and the party if they could get away. Ben had a list of people he intended to send telegrams to but didn't know if any of them would be able to attend with only one week's notice. However, any wedding on the Ponderosa would be well attended so this would be a big celebration regardless. Hop Sing was brought into the discussion and suggested that his cousins could help with food, decorations, and fireworks. The fireworks especially appealed to Joe's sense of theatrics. Soon everyone had things to do and was about to head off in different directions.

"Pa, Adam's is really back with us now, ain't he! That was a little bit mean springing that surprise on ya that way, but you know how he likes to surprise us. And him having that plan with the ring and all before he saw Cici is just like Adam used to be. He's back in more ways than one."

"After I thought about it a bit, I decided that it wasn't mean. I'm sure they would have told me last night if I had still been up, but I was so tired I had gone to bed earlier than usual. This morning, there really wasn't a way for him to announce it that wouldn't have affected me unless he wanted to yell it from upstairs before I saw the two of them. It was quite a shock though to see them walking down the stairs together."

"Pa, he could have come down by himself to tell us and then Cici could have come down."

"Well, now that you mention that, Joe, maybe he was just a little mean." Ben smiled though to show he wasn't serious about that.

"Oh, Pa, you shoulda seen your face. Adam musta loved that. You was redder than a beet."

"Hoss, I seem to recall seeing my two younger sons sitting there pale as ghosts and stiff as statues when they came waltzing down those stairs."

"Pa, you ain't never been on this side of one your bellows, and if ya was, you'd understand how we felt expecting one and sitting so close to ya and all."

Ben puffed out his chest and stood to his full height, and bellowed: "I do not bellow!"

Joe started laughing so hard he fell across the red leather chair. Hoss guffawed, and Ben laughed that deep laugh of his. Hop Sing came out of the kitchen to see what the commotion was this time, and smiled. The family was happy again. So much trouble for this family sometimes, but they could still enjoy the good times. The children came running in from outside to see what the fun was and were disappointed to hear is was the adults kidding each other. They never understood such things and were always as disappointed as they were this time. They were told about the wedding party that would be held in a week though, and that made them happy because parties meant cake and children visiting so they would be having a good time.

Near the border of the Ponderosa, Adam and Cici had dismounted yet again to look at a potential building site. This was the closest site to town that they had found a possible spot. There was a nice flat area for building and was near the main road so there wouldn't have to be much done to connect to it. As Cici walked about looking at the size of the site and thinking of what they could build there, she turned to see Adam gazing up the hill on the north side of the site.

"You're not thinking of building there are you?"

"It could be done. It isn't that much of an elevation change from here, and if we can find water for a well, there wouldn't be a problem."

"How would you build a house on the side of a hill?"

"What I see is a long narrow two story house with a veranda across the whole front. Every room would have a southern exposure so there would be good light all day but not any direct light except for the rooms on either end. One could be the kitchen and the other end could be a study."

"You see all that in your head don't you? But how long to build it? It sounds elaborate."

"Yes, it would take some time. But we could build a small house here with a small kitchen, small washroom, and room for a table, a dresser, and a bed. Later we could convert it easily into a bunkhouse for hired hands. If we built a small stable and corral that could be expanded later, we could move here within two months."

"Ah, Adam, about that kitchen. Have I mentioned that I don't really know how to cook. I can make scrambled eggs and bacon, and I can fry or roast beef, and I can even make beef stew, but that's about it."

"In your kitchen, there were all sorts of food including bread and pies."

"Some of my patients pay me with food. Cheaper for them and cheaper for me than going to a restaurant for dinner."

Adam laughed and wrapped his arms around her.

"Well, I can cook like that too, but I can also make beans a lot of different ways. We can hire a cook and housekeeper here. On the Ponderosa, Hop Sing will prepare all the meals. For now at your house, we can survive with our cooking skills. If we get too tired of beef stew, we can always go to a restaurant."

"That could get to be expensive."

"Perhaps we should talk about what I have and own."

For the next hour, Adam explained about cash accounts he had because of the settlement from the Kings and how that came about. He told her that there were still some additional payments they would be making. He told of the CR Ranch and his share of that which would also mean a regular source of income unless Reg exercised an option to buy him out.

"That's not likely for the foreseeable future though as he's putting most of his profits back into the ranch to build it up. Then of course, I'll continue to work on the Ponderosa as needed and draw a salary here. That my not be that much, but it will be a regular amount. There were some investments that I were never touched by the lawsuit or my liquidating them and I can sell those for additional funds or continue to get a return on them. I hope too to get some work doing architectural or engineering work like I did in Wyomint. Money will not be an issue for us, and you will have time to build your practice without worry."

Then Cici brought up the most serious issue so far: children.

"Adam, do you want children?"

"I'm not sure. I'm forty years old, soon to be forty-one. I know that when I walk into the house and see Hoss sitting with one or both of his children, I get a longing for the same. I don't know though. You are much younger but you want to be a doctor, and I don't know how children would fit into that choice."

"So, you're not against the idea?"

"Not at all, but I won't push you either. Whichever way it works out will be fine with me. I either have you to love for the rest of my life, or I have you with children to love the rest of my life. I'm pulling in the jackpot either way."

"We didn't use any method to protect against it last night so it could already be decided."

"It was just once so the odds would be against you being with child already. but yes, I know it is possible."

"I do want children but would like to wait a little. We have a lot to do in the next few months. Then, I would like to have a child, but we don't have to do anything differently. I will leave it in God's hands. Now though we should get going. I'm getting cold standing here, and we can talk back at the house."

Adam unbuttoned his coat.

"What are you doing? It's freezing today!"

Adam stepped next to her and opened his coat and drew her into an embrace and wrapped his coat around her. Cici wrapped her arms around him under his coat and put her head on his chest. Adam kept his arms around her and rested his chin on her head.

"Warmer now?"

"Yes. Thank you. This is nice."

Once Cici stopped shivering, Adam helped her get on her horse. Then he used the blanket roll he had brought along to wrap around her shoulders and her blanket roll, he laid over her legs to keep them warm. It was still cold in March so he had insisted they strap bedrolls on before leaving, and now Cici was very grateful that he had insisted.

"When we get back, I'll get you into a warm bath. You'll feel a lot better then, and so will I." With that, Adam shot a salacious grin at Cici. "In medical school, did they ever discuss the benefits of a husband and wife bathing together? I'm sure that it could be quite invigorating, and we'll both be pleasantly warm or even hot when we're done."

With that, Cici turned even redder than the cold had made her cheeks. For perhaps the first time in her life, she had no comeback. She began to imagine what he might mean for them to do and just got more embarrassed but also was highly intrigued by the possibilities. When she looked at Adam, he was grinning at her. She couldn't help it; she grinned back.

Back home, Adam had Cici sit wrapped in the two blankets on a hay bale as he got the horses settled in their stalls, groomed, fed, and watered. Then he walked over and pulled her to her feet before bending and picking her up to carry her, blankets and all, to the house. Inside, he set her down and announced to his father and brothers that he was going to get Cici into a warm bath.

"Once you get her in there, come back here, and your brothers and I can tell you of the party plans and preparations."

Picking Cici up in his arms once more, he moved toward the kitchen and as he passed through the door into the kitchen on the way to the washroom, he sent a salvo over his shoulder. "That may be a while, a very long while."

Ben looked at his sons and saw from the looks on their faces that they had drawn the same conclusion as he had. Joe had to say something.

"Adam's back, Pa. He's definitely back."

"I know; I know. Lord, help us."

 

Chapter 9

Once Hop Sing heated enough water, Adam pushed the washroom door closed and dropped the latch. He and Cici undressed quickly and stepped into the warm water sinking gratefully into its warmth as Cici leaned back into Adam's embrace as they reclined in the large tub. There was warm water almost to her chin.

"I'm very glad Hoss is such a big man. We ordered this extra large tub because of him. Who knew there would be fringe benefits to that idea."

A half hour later, there was a bit less water because some had splashed onto the floor of the washroom due to their activities. The water was cooling too, and she sat forward and twisted to look back at Adam who reclined with his eyes closed.

"If you want, I could wash your back. Just turn around."

Adam slowly opened his eyes and grinned at her. "As soon as you make room for me to do that, I will."

Even though Cici knew he was hinting at more, she chose to ignore it. She grabbed a cloth and soap and started to lather the cloth. Adam turned and turned so that his back was toward her. Cici rubbed his back. Other than that morning as they dressed, she had not had a good look at the scars on his back, but she had felt them and knew they were raised and thick. There appeared to be about twenty stripes of scar tissue with some overlapping and others roughly paralleling each other. As she washed his back, she wondered if there was something that could be done to ease any discomfort he had from them so she asked if anyone had done anything to help.

"Until I left in November, Hoss would rub some ointment Hop Sing had made into the scar tissue. He did it for me almost every night. It did help to soften and smooth out the tissue. On my neck I think the scar tissue actually diminished. I still have some of that ointment in my, err, our room."

"In the bath like this, I think a pumice stone could be used to reduce the ridges of the scars, and then after the bath, the ointment could be applied. I will talk to Hop Sing and see what he thinks."

Adam was impressed that she was willing to talk with Hop Sing about nonwestern medical treatment. That she was more clinically interested in his scars and not squeamish at all about them was a relief too. In their many conversations and in the letters, he had talked some about what happened to him so she knew he carried these physical scars. It didn't bother her because she had been more concerned about what he felt and thought about his treatment. The more he learned about Cici, the more impressed he was with her.

"Wouldn't scraping the tissue create a chance of infection?"

"Possibly but with a good soap scrub before and after, it is unlikely. We could do a rinse with carbolic acid to be sure. There, your back is done. Do you want me to wash your front too? I have the cloth all lathered and ready."

Grabbing the cloth from Cici as she dangled it over his chest, Adam rolled his eyes at her. For someone who twenty-four hours earlier had never been with a man, she was certainly learning fast especially in how to tease him. Laughing, Cici climbed out of the tub, grabbed a towel, and dried off. She was nearly dressed by the time Adam stood to get out of the tub. She took the dry towel that was there and pantomimed taking off with it.

"You better not do that! Choices have consequences!" Adam did a fake scowl at Cici, and she laughed.

"You'll have to do better than that if you want to make me scared. I'm just giving this back because I'm hungry, and this game could take too long. Do you want me to help dry you?"

Giving another impish grin, Cici sat on the bench next to the tub and looked her husband up and down as he dressed. Adam just shook his head as he thought about her.

"What force of nature have I unleashed here?"

She giggled in response. After releasing the plug at the bottom of the tub so the water could flow outside, Adam and Cici headed into the kitchen.

Hop Sing was finishing dinner and when Cici asked when would be a good time to talk about his treatment for Adam's scars, he had the two of them sit at the table, and they talked as he finished dinner. The ointment he had made was for soothing and softening but often did reduce the size of scars as well. Hop Sing agreed that the pumice stone idea should work, and that they should take precautions against infection as Adam suggested. Scar tissue has no feeling so if an infection got into the scars, it could be well advanced before Adam would know. Hop Sing decided that he liked this young lady more and more. When she mentioned that she could not cook other than the basics, he offered to either teach her a little each weekend or make a recommendation of someone to hire to do it for her. Adam thought both ideas were good ones, and Cici agreed. They helped Hop Sing carry in the dishes for dinner.

After dinner and some conversation in front of the fireplace, Hoss told the children to head to bed and said he was tired and heading to bed too. He poked Joe and nodded toward Adam and Cici. Ben was sitting at his desk, and he too suddenly was too tired and needed to go to bed.

"Hold it! You don't have to go running off to give us privacy. Cici and I know how to have privacy if we need it. Now everyone should just relax and do what you would normally do on a Saturday night, and I'm guessing going to bed early is not it."

"Well, older brother, ya ain't had a honeymoon so we thought we ought to give you some time alone."

"Hoss, Adam and I have been discussing taking a honeymoon, but with my practice just getting started, we probably won't until fall. Don't worry. We talk about everything, and if any of you, not just Hoss, have a concern, please feel free to talk with us. We can be very honest if you will just ask."

"And I will be spending Monday through Thursday nights in town. We will have lots of privacy then. So please don't let us disrupt your plans here."

Ben opened his book again and turned up the lamp on his desk. Hoss started setting up the checkerboard again and Joe turned his chair back in that direction. Iris and Mark asked if that meant they could also stay up but were disappointed when Hoss said that it was still their bedtime. Adam and Cici had a backgammon set and decided now would be a good time to play. It didn't take long for Hoss and Joe to be watching their backgammon battle and to be intrigued by the game. Because it was a two-person game, it would be perfect for the two brothers. Soon Cici coaching Hoss were playing against Adam coaching Joe. Ben smiled from his desk. This had been the vision of his family he had been hoping to see again, and Cici was the biggest reason for it. He loved this daughter-in-law as did his sons. The future looked better than it had in quite a while.

 

Chapter 10

That night, as Cici rested in Adam's arms again, she felt safe and loved. She wondered about something though that they had never discussed. She decided to ask if it was taboo.

"Adam, we've never talked about your wives. Is that something you don't want to talk about?"

"I can talk about them. I didn't know if that was something I should do with my new wife."

"I would like to know the other women who loved my husband."

"Victoria was my quiet girl. She was the kind of woman who liked being at home, liked doing the kind of things that made a house a home, yet she was smart and liked to read. We could have long conversations about all sorts of things. She had never traveled, never saw much of the world. She was excited about coming west. She wanted to see more of the country, experience more of what it was like when I traveled out here with my father. That's why we traveled by wagon part of the way and why she was killed. I felt terribly guilty about that for a long time, and in many ways, I still do."

"But she wanted to do that. You had no way of knowing what would happen. No one can guess what's going to happen, to know what others are going to do."

"After I rescued that Shoshoni boy, I should have realized those men might retaliate. I should have known it was possible."

"What could you have done?'

"That's the part where I get stuck. I don't know."

"What was Marlee like?"

"She told me that when she was young, she was shy. I never knew her like that. I used to visit her and her husband in San Francisco when I was there on business. She was always self-assured and maybe even a bit brassy. When I saw her in Wyoming, she made no secret of what she wanted and held nothing back about her condition. She was blunt in her honesty. She was smart too and liked to read. She read Whitman and Dickens but her favorite were trashy dime novels she hid inside good books to try to fool people so they didn't know what she was actually reading."

"That's funny."

"She had a great sense of humor. She could laugh at the crazy things in life and enjoy the beautiful and appreciate each good thing there was. She wasn't morbid about her condition. She wanted to be positive and enjoy life as if there was no such diagnosis looming over her. She worried more about me and what would happen to me after she was gone."

"You knew about her heart before you got involved with her?"

"I did. I went in with my eyes wide open. It may seem odd, but with Diane, I thought we would have many years together, and we ended up having only a few months. With Marlee, the only difference was that I knew it wouldn't be years."

"Life can be very unpredictable."

"Yes, a year ago, I never would have expected to be resting beside a wonderful woman and living on the Ponderosa and planning my future here as my wedding was going to be announced in church the following day."

"I have the same wonder."

Chuckling softly, Adam pulled her into his embrace, kissed her, and whispered that they needed to get some sleep. She agreed because she wanted to be fresh when they arrived at church the next day.

Sunday morning was cloudy, and Ben didn't realize the time at first. When he did, he got out of bed quickly and pulled on his robe. This was one Sunday, he didn't want to be late to church. He opened Hoss' door and called to him to wake him. Next he went in Joe's room and shook him awake. Then pretty much without thinking, he knocked and opened Adam's door to wake him with a word, but what he saw left him speechless. Ben quickly pulled the door closed and mumbled an apology to the closed door. 'Lord, how am I going to say I'm sorry for that one?' was his only thought.

In Adam's room, Cici was turning a brilliant shade of pink. She had been laying atop Adam and kissing him. Adam had reached to pull the sheet over them as soon as he heard the knock, but the sheet was twisted with the comforter and only came to their waists. Well at least all his Pa had seen was a bare back mostly.

"You most definitely need to get a lock on that door. I can't believe your father just saw us like this!"

"Well it was a good thing he didn't come barging in ten minutes sooner or he would have seen a lot more."

Adam was grinning at her as she remembered and got even more embarrassed.

"Okay, then this is certain: you will go down to breakfast and I will stay here, perhaps until tomorrow morning when I go back to town. I don't think I could bear to look at your father right now."

"Sweetheart, there is just one big problem with that. We are going to have our marriage announced today in church. If you're not there, I'm afraid of the salacious stories that will be told about us. Who knows what rumors and gossip will be spread by tomorrow morning. Now you wouldn't want that would you?"

"That is not funny. How can you joke about this?"

"It's over. There's nothing that can be done about it so it makes sense to relax about it and move on."

"I don't know how you do that."

"I have been through some tough things. It taught me to pick my battles more carefully because there are some things not important enough to worry about. There are also things that I cannot change nor control. Therefore I guess I have decided to worry only about important things that I can do something about and let the rest go, or at least try to."

"Your father is probably just as embarrassed as I am."

"More! My guess is that he is far more embarrassed because he is the reason for the situation. He will be trying to avoid you because he won't be able to look at you without thinking of what he did."

"Or what he saw!"

"He didn't see much, but it's Sunday, and he's headed to church. He probably thinks the devil made him do it. He'll be thinking of how to repent."

They laughed together then and got out of bed to dress. Adam left first to go get the carriage ready. Ben was sitting at the table as Adam walked to the front door. All Adam did was give his father a little salute, and Ben started turning red all over again. Hoss and Joe were both curious as to what was going on but their questions got no answers. Joe suddenly had enough to eat and announced he was going to the stable to help Adam. Hoss would have gone too, but Hop Sing had made hot cakes so it would be a little while before he was ready to satisfy his curiosity. Besides Joe would tell him whatever he found out anyway.

"Say, Adam, can I give you a hand there?"

"Sure, Joe. Very nice of you to offer. There wouldn't be anything else other than brotherly love that would have brought you out here to help, now would there?"

"Well, you see, now that you mention it, why is Pa turning red this morning every time your name gets mentioned, and he won't talk about it, and Cici's name about makes him choke on his food?"

"Did Pa walk in your room and shake you awake this morning?"

"Of course."

"Did you hear him yell out Hoss' name to wake him?"

"Yeah, I was hoping he needed him for something, and he was gonna let me sleep but nope he had to wake me too."

"Well . . . "

"Oh no, he walked in to your bedroom . . . "

"Yes, and I was already up."

"Oh lord, is Cici ever going to forgive him?"

"If she ever comes out of the bedroom again, yes. And the moral of the story is, do not walk in the bedroom of a couple who have been married less than two days."

"Oh, Lordy."

Hoss was walking in to the stable and had heard Adam's last statement. It didn't take much to guess what had happened. All three brothers started to laugh together then and couldn't stop. Ben was walking out of the house, heard them, and walked back inside. Cici was coming down the stairs, and both blushed as they saw each other. Ben turned on his heel and left again. He would rather face his sons than his daughter-in-law at this point.


End file.
